Revenge of the Living Dummy

The Invitation

DEAR BRITNEY CROSBY:

   Let the SCREAMS begin! You have won a free, weeklong stay at HORRORLAND Theme Park, the SCARIEST Place on Earth!

   Bring your PARENTS. Bring your friend MOLLY MOLLOY. And be sure to bring something to feed the WEREWOLVES (like an arm or a leg!).

   We've enclosed FREE PASSES to CROCODILE CAFE, where you can grab a quick bite. And free tickets to our challenging SWIM-WITH-A-HUNGRY-SHARK ride! (Hope you're a FAST swimmer!)

   You don't need a ticket to the BOTTOMLESS QUICKSAND PIT. Drop in anytime!

   We know you and Molly will never forget your stay at our famous hotel, STAGGER INN - it's a real SCREAM! (Really!)

   So come be our GHOST - oops - we mean GUEST.

   We look forward to SCARING you!

      Please RSVP to:

      Di Kwickly, Guest Relations

Chapter 1

Molly and I sat in the back seat of my parents' car and talked all the way to HorrorLand. After four hours our talk talk talk, Dad cranked up the radio as loud as he could. That was his subtle hint that we should take a break.

"You two are chattering like magpies," Mom said

"What are magpies?" I asked.

"Little black-and-white birds that chatter a lot," Mom said. "Why don't you two enjoy the scenery for a while?"

"Yeah. For sure," I said.

Molly and I went back to our conversation. We were totally psyched. Our friends Kaitlin and Jason went to HorrorLand last spring, They told us all about it when they got back. They said it was the coolest place they'd ever been. Kaitlin told us they have a werewolf petting zoo and the werewolves looked totally real! Jason liked the rides. He said be sure to check out the Doom Slide, the world's longest slide. And to check out Black Lagoon Water Park.

So here we are, on our way to the famous, scary theme park, riding through endless farmland, all the windows down because the air conditioner stopped working, talking nonstop.

Finally, the park came into view. We drove through the wide-open mouth of an enormous purple dragon. It had to be ten stories high! Into the endless parking lot, jammed with cars. Up ahead I saw a tall green-and-purple billboard. It said:

WELCOME TO HORRORLAND. WHERE NIGHTMARES COME TO LIFE!

I slapped Molly a high-five. "This is gonna be awesome!" I cried.

"And it's all free!" Dad chimed in. "Brittney, what did you do to win free tickets?"

I shrugged. "Beats me. I didn't enter a contest or anything. I don't know how I got picked."

"They seemed to know a lot about us," Molly said. "They knew my name. It's totally weird."

This is one of the biggest theme parks in the world," Dad said. "They do a lot of research on people."

We climbed out of the car. The afternoon sun beamed down from the clear, cloudless sky. Large black birds circled high over head.

"Are those buzzards?" Mom asked, shielding her eyes with one hand. "Don't buzzards feed on dead things?"

Dad laughed. "They're probably animated robots or something. Very clever."

He watched the buzzards for a moment. Then he popped the trunk and started to pull out our bags.

I tried to see into the park. But it was surrounded by a tall green fence.

Deep scary organ music poured out of the speakers above our heads.

Mom frowned. "That's the kind of music they play at funerals," she murmured.

Molly tugged the sleeve of my shirt. "Hear those kids screaming?" she asked. She suddenly looked frightened.

"Sounds like they're on a roller coaster or something," I told her. "Remember? Jason said the rides here are incredible."

Dad pulled out his new digital camera and snapped some pictures if the park entrance and the big WELCOME sign. Then we carried our bags down the long row of cars. I spotted a ticket booth next to the wide iron front gate. It looked like a green-and-purple castle.

Molly laughed. "Check out that sign." She pointed to the fence beside the booth. The sign read: YOU MUST BE THIS TALL TO ENTER.

And the arrow was only two feet off the ground! Dad snapped a photo of it.

"Looks fun," Mom said. "It'll be like living in a horror movie for a week."

We lined our bags up on the walk and stepped up to the ticket window. No one there.

"That's weird," Dad said. "Maybe this booth is closed."

"It can't be," I said. "It's the only one."

"Be patient," Mom said. "Someone will come."

So we waited. And waited some more. The hot sun broiling us, our sweat making us itchy. Listening to the screams inside and watching the fat buzzards swoop low overhead.

"Something is wrong," Dad started. "If this the only booth, I think -"

He never finished his sentence. Suddenly, a hideous horned creature - purple and green with pointed fangs and giant curled claws - leaped out through the ticket window. With a low, nasty growl, he grabbed me by my throat. And I started to scream.

Chapter 2

"Sorry," the creature said. He let go if me and patted my shoulder gently. "Just doing my job, you know."

We all laughed. My heart was still pounding. But I didn't want to let on that he had scared me. He climbed back into the ticket booth and poked his out the opening. His long horns scraped the side of the booth.

"I'm a Horror," he said. "We're the park workers. It's not a bad job. I have paid vacations, and I get to eat any small children I catch."

We all laughed.

On the other side of the fence, I heard snarling animal sounds. The snarls turned into a roar. And I heard people screaming.

"Sounds like one of the creatures escaped Werewolf Village," the Horror said. "That happens from time to time. It can get very messy."

Molly and I exchanged glances. I wished Molly would lighten up. She just looked so tense.

"We have a special invitation," Dad said. He pulled the letter from his pocket and handed it to the Horror. The Horror pretended to eat it

One Day at HorrorLand

Chapter 1


As we entered the gates to HorrorLand, we had no idea that, in less than an hour, we would all be lying in our coffins.
I'm the calm one in the Morris family. Everyone says, "Lizzy, you're the calm one." And I'm trying to tell this story calmly.
But believe me - there's no way!
We had never planned to go to HorrorLand. In fact, we never heard of it.
The five of us were squeezed into Dad's little Toyota, on our way to spend the day at Zoo Gardens Theme Park. Dad had messed up and left the map at home. But Mom said the park was easy to find. Boy, was she wrong...


                                                    *  *  *


We were totally lost now and my parents started to argue. I raised my eyes to open the sunroof above my head.
"Oh!" I let out a cry as I saw a hideous monster staring down at me, lowering it's enormous head to crush the car.


Chapter 2


I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound came out.
The monster glared down at me through the sunroof. It was as tall as a building. Its red eyes glowed with evil, and its mouth was twisted in a hungry grin.
"D-Dad!" I finally managed to stammer. Dad was bent over, fumbling through the papers in the glove compartment.
"Wow!" I heard Luke cry.
I turned and saw that my brother Luke and his friend Clay were staring up at it too, their eyes in fright.
"Dad? Mom?" My heart was pounding so hard, I thought my chest might explode.
"Lizzy, what is it?" Mom asked impatiently.
The monster lowered it's head over us. Its mouth opened wide, ready to swallow the whole car.
And then Luke started to laugh. "Wow! Cool!" he cried.
And I realized at the same time the monster wasn't real. It was a mechanical figure, part of a billboard display.
I stared at the red-eyed monster. It lowered it's head and opened its jaws, then its jaws snapped shut, and the enormous head slid back up.
"It looks so real!" Clay exclaimed, staring up at it.
"Didn't fool me," I lied. I wasn't going to admit that I nearly leaped through the sunroof. I'm supposed to be the calm one after all.
I rolled down the window and stuck my head out to read the billboard in front of the mechanical monster. In huge red letters, it said: WELCOME TO HORRORLAND WHERE NIGHTMARES COME TO LIFE!
There was a dark-red arrow in the upper left corner with the words: ONE MILE.
"Can we go there?" Luke demanded eagerly. He leaned forward and grabbed the back of Dad's seat with both hands. "Can we, Dad?" How about it?"
"It looks kind of scary," Clay said softly.
Dad slammed the glove compartment shut with a sigh. He was giving up on the map idea. "Luke, stop pulling my seat," he snapped. "Sit back."
"Can we go to HorrorLand?" Luke demanded.
"HorrorLand? What's HorrorLand?" Mom demanded.
"Never heard of it," Dad muttered.
"It's only a mile from here," Luke pleaded. "It looks great!"
"I don't think so," Mom said, staring out at the huge billboard. "Zoo Gardens is such a winderful park. HorrorLand doesn't look very nice."
"It looks great!" Luke insisted, pulling at Dad's seat again. "It looks really excellent!"
"Luke, sit back," Dad pleaded.
"Let's go," I urged, "We're never going to find Zoo Gardens."
Mom hesitated, chewing her lower lip. "I don't know," she said fretfully. "some of these places aren't safe!"
"It'll be safe!" Luke declared. "It'll be very safe!"
"Luke! Sit back!" Dad yelled.
"Can we go?" Luke demanded, ignoring Dad. "Can we?"
"It could be fun," Clay said quietly.
"Let's give it a try," I urged them, "If we hate it, we can always leave."
Dad rubbed his chin. He sighed. "Well, I guess it would be better than sitting here in the middle of nowhere, arguing all day."
"YAAAAAY!" Luke screamed. Luke and I reached over Clay, and slapped each other a high-five. HorrorLand sounded like a pretty cool place to me, too. I love scary rides. "If the rides are as scary as the monster," I said expressing my thoughts. "This park will be awesome!"
"You don't think it's too scary - do you?" Clay asked. I saw that he had his hands clasped tightly in his lap. And he that frightened owl look on his face.
"No, it won't be too scary," I told him.
Oh, wow - was I wrong!


                                                    *  *  *


"I can't believe someone would build a big theme park out in the wilderness," Dad declared.
We were driving through what seemed like an endless forest. Tall, old trees leaned over the two-lane road, nearly blocking out the late morning sun.
Maybe they haven't built the park yet," Mom suggested. "Maybe they're going to clear out these trees and build the park here."
All three of us in the back seat were hoping Mom was wrong. And she was.
The road curved sharply. And as we came out of the curve, we saw the tall gates to the park straight up ahead.
Behind a tall, purple fence, HorrorLand seemed to stretch for miles. As we drove through the enormous parking lot, eerie chords of organ music invaded the car.
"YAAAAAY!" This looks great!" Luke exclaimed.
Clay and I enthusiastically agreed. I couldn't wait to get out of the car and see everything.
"The parking lot is nearly empty," Dad said, glancing uneasily at Mom.
"That means we don't have to wait in long lines!" I quickly exclaimed.
"I think Lizzy is very excited about this place," Mom commented, smiling.
"Me, too!" Luke cried. He punched Clay enthusiastically on the shoulder. Luke always has to punching or pinching somebody. He can be such a douche.
We crossed the wide parking lot. I saw a few cars parked near the front gate. At the far side of the lot stood a row of purple-and-green buses with the word HorrorLand across the side.
As we rode closer, I got a good look at the front gate. The same monster we saw behind the billboard rose up above a big purple-and-green sign over the gate. The sign read: THE HORRORLAND HORRORS WELCOME YOU TO HORRORLAND!
"I don't get that sign," Mom said. "What are the HorrorLand Horrors?"
"We'll find out!" I exclaimed happily.
Dad pulled into a space by the front gate. Luke and I pushed open the back doors before the car had even stopped. "Let's go!" I cried.
Luke, Clay, and I started trotting towards the gate. As I ran, I stared up at the monster above the sign. This one didn't move it's head the billboard monster. But it looked very real. I glanced back and saw that Mom and Dad were hurrying to catch up with us. "This is going to be way cool!" I exclaimed. The gates opened and we walked inside. No one came over to welcome us. And then I gasped as a deafening explosion made the ground shake. And I stared back in horror as our car burst apart, exploding into a million peices.


Chapter 3


I cried out and pulled Luke and Clay back. Then a wolf ran out from behind a cottage, holding its head low, glaring at us with red its red eyes, its mouth open hungrily.
"It - It's real!" Clay declared, swallowing hard. I had my hand on his shoulder. I could feel him trembling.
The wolf growled. Then slid back behind the cottage.
"I think it's some kind of robot or something," I told Clay.
"Let's go somewhere else," Clay replied, suddenly very pale.
We looked back where the car exploded, but it was gone.
We knew there was nothing we could do about it. So we started walking deeper into the park.
"What does that sign over there say?" Luke asked. He went running over the dark cobble stones to the sign, and Clay and I followed. The sign read: NO PINCHING.
Luke laughed. "That's quite retarded."
"What a dumb sign!" Clay agreed.
"That sign was meant just for you, Luke!" I gave him a hard pinch on the arm.
"Hey! Can't you read?!" he shouted angrily, pointing at the sign.
I saw a green monster watching us from down the street. He came over to greet us.
"Welcome to HorrorLand! I am a park guide. We call ourselves Horrors," he explained. "Enjoy your last stay!" We all laughed. And a wolf howl cut through the air.
"Let's find some rides!" Clay suggested.
"Some scary rides!" Luke added.
We walked side-by-side into a plaza full of green-and-purple buildings. I looked up at a sign that said the name of the plaza. It was called ZOMBIE PLAZA. A pudgy Horror behind a purple-and-green cart was selling ice cream cones - black ice cream!
We hurried past the cart, and stopped in front of what appeared to be a tall purple mountain.
"It's a ride!" I told them.
A doorway was cut into the side of the mountain. And above the doorway was a sign that read: DOOM SLIDE. WILL YOU BE THE ONE TO SLIDE FOREVER?
"Cool!" Luke cried. "Let's go!"
We ran through the doorway on ramp leading us to the top. It was dark and cold. We could hear kids screaming but we couldn't see them. We hurried to the top and found ourselves on a wide platform. A row of long, curving sliding boards stretched to the end of the platform. The sliding boards were numbered from one to ten. We approached two Horrors.
"Be careful which slide you pick," warned one of them. "Don't pick the Doom Slide."
"Yes. Don't pick the Doom Slide," his partner repeated. "You'll slide down forever and ever."
I laughed and picked slide number three because that's my lucky number. Luke picked slide number two so he could be next to me. And Clay scrambled over to slide number ten.
When we were settled, the ride started. I raised my arms over my head, leaned back, and screamed the whole way down. My cries echoed out through the enormous, dark canyon of the Doom Slide building. I felt great. The slide curved and swirled into darkness faster and faster. I could see Luke in the slide next to mine. He was lying on his back, staring straight up with his mouth wide open. I tried to call out to him but the slide curved away, then up, then swirled, and went down again. And, then, bump. I hit the ground hard. Then Luke repeated.
"You were screaming in there," he told me.
"I did it on purpose," I said. "I wanted to scream."
"Yeah. Sure." He rolled his eyes. I told you he's a douche. He pulled himself off the ground. "I'm a little dizzy. How fast were we going?"
I shrugged. "Pretty fast. Hey where's Clay?" I was starting to feel really nervous. "He couldn't of been slower than us - could he?"
"Where'd he go?" Luke worried. "Why didn't he come out?"
"Let's go check the front of the building. Maybe he went there," I hoped.
No. No Clay. We went to go ask the Horror by the doorway. "Have you seen a kid come by here? He's blond and sort of chubby and wears glasses. He's wearing a blue shirt and denim shorts."
"No," the Horror responded. "Maybe your friend chose the Doom Slide."


Chapter 4


I stared a the Horror. "You're joking, right? The Doom Slide is just a joke."
"Didn't you read the signs? They all gave warnings," she responded. Then walked away and disappeared.
"Where are you going? Get the hell back here!" I was fuming. "Our friend is missing and you don't give a crap?"
"Whoa. Watch your language Lizzy. You're the calm one, remember," Luke reminded me. "Just take it easy and we'll find Clay."
Luke was right. We'll stay cool, and find Clay.
"You're right, Luke," I pulled him into the building and started running to the top. "We will find him calmly."
"You mean - ?" Luke was catching on to my plan.
"Yes. We'll follow him and find out where slide number ten took Clay," I told him.
The two Horrors from last time warned us again. "Be careful which side you pick - "
"Shut up," I interrupted. "We know what we want and we're going together."
"Don't you think it's dangerous?" Luke asked.
"Don't be dumb. It's an amusement park," I answered. "Now do you want to find Clay or not?"
The ride started.
"Clay, here we come!" I cried.


Chapter 5


There was no way I would enjoy the ride this time. I wanted to just find Clay and solve the mystery. The slide bumped us up, then dove straight down. We started to fall. Down into the darkness. Falling. Falling. Then we landed hard and curved immediately to the right. Then steeply down again. We hit another bump and went flying up. Right when we landed, the slide curved sharply to the left. I realized we should be at the bottom by now. But we were still sliding, going faster, for a long time now. We hit another bump. Another one. Luke and I cried in disgust as something sticky covered our faces. I tried to pull it off. It was like itchy cobwebs. The slide took another sharp dip.
"Lizzy," said Luke. "I think I see daylight!"
I forced my eyes open and squinted at the light.
"Luke, that's not daylight," I responded. "It's fire!"
The slide ahead of us was on fire! The yellow-and-orange flames raged up, topped by cloud of black smoke. I shut my eyes and screamed. We were sliding right into the blazing flames. No point in screaming for help. So we waited for our death.


Chapter 6


I felt the heat of the flames, but only for s short period of time. A whoosh of cold air made me open my eyes. The fire was behind us. We slid through it. But how? I soon realized they were projections and special effects. But soon I was worried again about the ride not ending. Just as that thought lingered in my mind, we landed on grass. We made it through the "Doom Slide".
We got up and read a sign in front of us: WELCOME TO DOOM. POPULATION: 0 HUMANS.
Then Clay came rushing over to us with a smile on his face. "Hey guys!" he called.
A few seconds ago, Luke screaming like a baby, and he's telling Clay about how much fun he had on the ride. What a douche.